// it cuts across the land, it cuts across the heart//

I never thought that I would ever be in the situation that I am now. Watching my father as he lay in a hospital bed is beyond intimidating and awfully damaging to ones heart.

Two full weeks and counting.

Hospital, Rehab, Emergency, Hospital.
Orthostatic Hypotension. Hypertension. Bone Marrow Biopsy. Neuropathy.
Cardiac Progressive. 5th Floor Oncology. Neurology.

In two weeks I’ve learned more about medicine than I ever wanted to know and found a reason to be responsible which is not the reason I was hoping to force me into adulthood.

I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready to lose. I’m not ready to be on my own, again. I’m not ready to be strong for others. But ready or not there is often no choice.

I’d give anything to be out of this hospital. I’d give anything to be out shooting and spending time thinking about the world at large. I’d give anything for my dad to be ok.

Why is normal so hard to do these days?